It’s hard to stop worrying about the future, no one knows why I can’t get on with normal life. But for me that’s hard, I have a real desire to learn more. It’s hard to explain, now I have a Mental illness, will my experiences be chalked up to just fantasy? New experiences are happening every day, and are enlightening for me. So I don’t count my experience as derived from a mental illness, rather a beautiful but also terrifying time. I mean I had a glance at what Hell could be like, I also felt what another higher world would be like. The feeling is almost indescribable. When I was in Hell it was like I was on fire, and when I went higher it felt uplifting Like I was soaring into those higher worlds. It definitely gave me a bigger perspective on what kind of experiences you can have in life. You’re almost responsible for the way you see the world. I used to think I wasn’t good at anything. But after I had that experience I felt lifted out of my funk. Never to go back to my old life, or worldview again. There’s a bigger picture at work, and seeing that bigger picture fills me up. So do I really need to return to that old way of thinking? College, job, wife, etc. There’s something so beautiful about looking at life in another way, to that usual standard I was taught at school and at home. It lies in just being yourself and letting life take its course, and not getting bogged down in those murky waters of someone else’s idea of success. Now I am freeing myself from this ideal, and I’m much happier for it. I could never speak up for myself when I was younger, I was too weak. But after my experience in psychosis and a bad breakup with my ex, everything has changed. I no longer get stuck in those feelings of shame or regret for what I don’t have and I’m all the better for it.